


oh how the wind would wail (like i was never there)

by beaujes



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, Heavy Angst, Identity Reveal, Sad Ending, and this is what came out of my brain, be warned: this is the saddest thing i've ever written, don't be fooled by the small amount of words - it packs a strong punch, i had a lot of feelings about how a reveal of sorts would go in a final confrontation, is it an identity reveal if it's after the fact?? idk, it's so sad i'm still dissociating after writing it, so don't go into this expecting light angst this is the real deal, so i'm really sorry please don't hate me too much for it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-08
Updated: 2019-05-08
Packaged: 2020-02-28 05:41:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18750154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beaujes/pseuds/beaujes
Summary: Lena doesn’t cry when Supergirl dies.“Any last words?” Lex goads, towering over the kneeling hero with a sword that glows green.- a very short and angsty fic exploring an identity reveal of sorts after a final confrontation that leads to Supergirl's death, and how Lena reacts to it.Warning: this is VERY sad. Don't read it if you're looking for something happy.





	oh how the wind would wail (like i was never there)

**Author's Note:**

> I... don't even know what to say about this one. I'm sorry. I got a lot of feelings after watching 4x20 and I wanted to explore what it would be like for Lena to find out Supergirl's identity in the worst way possible. And this came out. 
> 
> Title taken from the song My Friends by Oh Wonder.

Lena doesn’t cry when Supergirl dies.

“Any last words?” Lex goads, towering over the kneeling hero with a sword that glows green. Supergirl’s veins turn a similar sickly color, her breath growing heavier with each passing second. She clenches her fists in the concrete dust under her broken body and looks up. Not at Lex, but at Lena.

“Lena, I-” she hesitates, and if Lena didn’t know better, she’d say that Supergirl is just about to confess… _something_ , but the expression is gone as soon as it appears. Supergirl looks down, disappointed and resigned, yet still staying strong. But when her eyes meet Lena’s once more, there’s an anguish there that has nothing to do with the blood dribbling out of her mouth. Not for the first time, but for the last, Lena wonders what she _really_ means to Supergirl.

“I’m sorry,” Supergirl croaks and lets her head fall forward, exhaustion and something final settling in her shoulders.

And there’s something about the lonely tear falling down her cheek, something about the crinkle in her brow, something that makes her look so small; Lena screams.

“Wait, don’t-”

But it’s too late. Lex buries the sword deep in Supergirl’s chest, piercing through the crest of the House of El. The hero lets out a pained gasp, then closes her eyes and slumps to the ground as Lex removes the blade and carelessly tosses it to the ground, a proud grin almost breaking the corner of his mouth.

Her brother must go on one of his manic speeches about killing gods or pretenders or something of the sort, but Lena can’t tear her eyes off Supergirl’s unmoving body. Can’t help but feel that there’s something suddenly missing, like there’s a void in her chest and all she can hear is wind howling in her ears. It’s not even windy outside. She looks up at the cloudless sky, at the sun shining overhead.

It’s a beautiful day, at least. Supergirl died with the Earth’s yellow Sun trying its best to ease her suffering. The thought isn’t as comforting as Lena thought it would be.

But there’s a hush all around, and it’s not the buildings that had been evacuated hours before. It’s not in the way that the whole world is holding its breath, waiting for Supergirl to just get back up again. It’s not just in the air, it’s _everywhere_. It’s suffocating.

Lena doesn’t remember picking up the sword. She doesn’t remember the feeling of it sliding through her brother’s dirty suit, piercing through skin and muscle and bone. She doesn’t remember what he sounds like as he falls to the ground. She doesn’t remember whether he looks at her and sees what she’s done, whether he’s hurt by her betrayal.

She wishes she did.

The next thing Lena knows, she’s on the ground surrounded by DEO agents, Alex Danvers offering her a hand up. Supergirl’s body is already gone, and for a moment Lena lets herself _hope_ , but Alex looks _devastated_. Lena knew that the two were close; didn’t know they were _that_ close. Alex’s hollow eyes tell her everything she needs to know – everything she didn’t want to be true.

Lena knows what someone looks like when they’ve lost family.

She’s just taken Alex’s hand and standing up when it hits her.

“No. No, no, no. No, it can’t- _no_ ,” Lena snatches her hand away from Alex’s and covers her mouth, shaking her head as if it would dispel the thought – dispel the slap of reality. She feels tears streaking down her face and when she looks back at Alex, there’s suddenly wetness there, too.

She lets Alex envelop her in a bone-crushing hug that she can barely feel. She looks up once more at the perfectly blue sky and curses the Sun.

Lena doesn’t cry when Supergirl dies.

She cries because Kara Danvers didn’t even get to say goodbye.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> If you want to rage and scream at me, I understand. I'm here to talk about it if you want to. Just please don't send too much hate my way, I don't know if I can handle it. I feel very raw after writing this. My tumblr askbox is always open at forest-blue, though, and I always respond to comments as quickly as I can. If you need comfort after this, I'll do my best to provide it.


End file.
